DANVERS: TELEGRAM & GAZETTE (Massachusetts)

The item about a family who called 911 on Columbus Day to report they were lost in a Danvers corn maze has “gone viral,” as they say. And we’re not surprised. This is just the sort of story that news outlets love to sink their teeth into, whether typewriter-style or in neat columns.

A couple with two young children, not realizing they were only 25 feet from freedom, called 911 from inside the 7-acre Connors Farm corn maze. They were weary of their wanderings and wanted out.

We have some sympathy for the mother who placed the call. Corn mazes can be confusing (that’s the idea), and if someone is claustrophobic or otherwise unhappy, they can turn on you after a while. One of the children was a 3-week-old infant, and it had grown dark and past closing time. Still, a corn maze customer can usually just cut through to the edge of the maze if necessary, or shout to try to get an employee’s attention.

The delight, of course, is that a decidedly low-tech excursion devolved into a high-tech emergency call. Genuine panic inside these silly, silent rows of corn? To human ears, all one usually hears are the laughter, the cries of “Let’s go this way!” and the crickets.

At the instructions of the dispatcher, the father shouted for help while the mother stayed on the cellphone. A police officer, police dog and a farm manager found the family after about 10 minutes, and led them out of what the mom termed a “nightmare.”

We’re amazed but pleased the couple decided to go the way they did, and call the authorities. Ordinary life is labyrinthine enough sometimes. This anecdote points everyone in the same direction: to a good chuckle.

Shucks, maybe someday even this unnamed family will see the humor, when they pause to think back on the time they almost bought the farm – but got famous in cyberspace instead.

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