Nose Clip; iStock/Eric Hood

Dear Radiohead,
One of my co-workers likes to practically bathe in their favorite scent. I’m not someone with a “sensitive nose,” but sometimes I can’t concentrate it’s so strong. Should telecommunicators really be allowed to wear perfumes and colognes on duty? What do I do?
Signed,
Eau de toilette  

Dear Eau,
Whew! (No pun intended.) My first thought is, “What are they trying to hide?” For as long as I can remember, I’ve worked with people who wear a lot of perfume or cologne to hide the smell of alcohol. If this is the case, it should be reported to a supervisor immediately. 

Then again, there are those who splash on a little more than half a bottle to hide a body odor problem or the fact that they haven’t worn a clean uniform to work for a decade. In this case, the situation is very delicate. I know supervisors, directors and managers have to deal with these issues, and they have to weigh body odor vs. a gallon of stinky cologne. Flip the coin, and see how it lands. Either way, bosses hate to deal with these topics.  

OK, let’s discuss another factor that may affect how much perfume or cologne a person wears. Maybe there’s a chance that romance is in the wings. We all know about hanky-panky between fellow employees, officers, firefighters, etc. Looking back in history, we can see how people use perfume to allure another. But instead of pouring half the bottle on yourself, how about just sprinkling a little behind the ear or on the neck? Your co-workers will appreciate it, and maybe the person you’re trying to impress will too.  

What about the size of comm center? If your comm center is the size of a broom closet and a fellow telecommunicator has bathed in their favorite smell, this odor can make it unbearable for the entire work shift because the smaller the comm center, the worse the fresh air system. And of course, the smell could linger after the employee leaves at the end of the shift. This is where a gas mask comes in handy.  

Oh wait, you’re from one of the bigger comm centers? Well, although we have a big comm center, the exhaust system still is a piece of junk, which means such an aroma isn’t too bad, but everyone can still smell it.  

So how do you tell a co-worker their cologne is disgusting? As I said before, this is a tricky conversation. One may opt out and voice the problem to a supervisor, while others may take the initiative and say something to the co-worker themselves. Personally, I think this is a matter that should be brought to a supervisor’s attention. Let them handle it. Hey, that’s what they get the big bucks for, right? (Yeah, right.)  

I have handled this type of situation by sitting the employee down and delicately discussing the issue. Was it pleasant? No, it wasn’t, but it still had to be handled. Did it work? Yes. The person said they didn’t realize they had put on an amount that bothered everyone else.  

But what if the offender is a super­visor? (Oh, boy, does this get any worse?) What to do? I would approach the supervisor’s boss and discuss the problem with them. If more of your co-workers agree, maybe a small show of force would be good in that it would show you aren’t the only one complaining. If this is not the path you want to take, maybe an anonymous letter in an envelope would be a way to let them know.  

Of course, some comm centers have one or two telecommunicators who take the bull by the horns and don’t care what the problem is—they’ll voice their opinions. So talk to them. See if they have the same issue you do and the courage to say something. Hopefully, it’s not adversarial.  

To those who “pour it on”: Remember, you won’t attract the good looking guys and gals like on TV commercials. Another thing: There’s a perfume out there that has a number as its brand name. What I want to know, what happened to one through four?  

Remember, you never know when you’re standing next to Radiohead, and if I overhear a conversation, I could use you for source material for this column. (Insert evil laugh here.)  

Illustration Paul Combs

Editor’s Note
The opinions expressed herein are those of the columnist and do not necessarily reflect the views of APCO International.  

Tell It to Radiohead
Got a question for Radiohead? Wanna sound off about an issue? Put it in an e-mail to [email protected].  

Originally published in Public Safety Communications magazine, Vol. 77(3):56, March 2011.